When Almost Perfect Isn’t Good Enough
Problem: “Almost perfect” isn’t always good enough. What’s a minor inconvenience to others may be a deal breaker for you.
Solution: Trust yourself. What’s right for others is not necessarily right for you.
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“I have enough miles for two round-trip tickets to Asia, but I’m a bit nervous to go alone. Want to come?”
The only thing that surprised me more than being posed an offer like that by someone I’d known only ten hours was my answer.
“You know, that’s really nice of you to offer, but no thank you.”
It was a long ride back to Portland from San Francisco, and I really enjoyed Steve’s company; he had a lot of great stories and we got along just fine.
By any account, the situation was almost perfect—a nice guy I got along with, a free ticket to tour Asia, and an experienced travel partner. But in some cases, almost perfect isn’t good enough. Sometimes, a small inconvenience can be a serious deal breaker.
The Problem with the World Today…
About halfway through our drive back to Portland, Steve’s phone rang. He answered it, had a brief conversation, and hung up to chat with me again. We started talking about phones and communication, and all the ways that people can get a hold us these days. Steve was older and only just started to embrace email and text messaging.
He mentioned that he thought it was rude that “kids today” will hear their phone ring and just ignore it. If the phone rang, he answered it, even if it was someone he didn’t want to talk to.
“I was raised to never run away from an issue. If someone calls me and needs to talk, I deal with it right there and then move on with life.”
I thought it was a funny thing to say, but tried not to read too deeply into it. I can let little things like that go. What he said next, though, changed everything:
“You’re a good kid, but you’re one of the few. The world is getting worse every day, and that’s just the way it is. Sad, but true.”
That’s when my 10-hour-old relationship with Steve changed dramatically. That’s when he went from being a nice conversation to someone to endure for the next half of the trip. We kept chatting, but it wasn’t the same anymore.
You see, I choose to believe that the world is a good place and that it’s getting better every day. That’s an important part of living a happy life for me. I also choose not to make room in my life for people that believe the opposite; it’s too tiring. I think that having my beliefs challenged is a good thing, but what good can come from being more cynical?
Even though I’d love to go see Asia, not to mention see it for free with an interesting person, Steve isn’t a good fit and no amount of money was going to change that.
When Almost Perfect Isn’t Good Enough
Maybe you’ve run into a similar situation. Everyone has his or her deal breakers. It could be as simple as a missing feature from a gadget you’re buying or as complicated as a behavior you can’t accept in a loved one. Whatever it is, it’s usually something that others would see as a minor inconvenience, but to you it’s a game ender.
Some say that this is our fault. That we can’t let go and accept that nothing is perfect. I agree. I think we’re in control of how we feel, but I don’t think we should try to change it. If you believe in something that makes the world a better place for you, stand up for it and don’t let anyone push you around or try to take it away.
And I don’t think we refuse to accept that nothing’s perfect. In fact, I think we embrace imperfection. The brushstroke that stands out in an otherwise flawless painting. The fallen tree in an untouched forest. The idiosyncrasies that endear us to others. These are beautiful things that we cherish. We seek them out because they make us feel more comfortable, more connected.
But imperfections are not created equal, and when you find them disheartening rather than endearing, I think you ought to trust in how you feel.
Steve was, overall, a pretty good guy. I could have taken him up on his offer and gone to Asia for free. I probably would have even had a pretty good time. But if I’d said yes, a little piece of me would have died.
The next time you’re faced with an “almost perfect” situation, take a second to ask yourself what that imperfection will cost you. If the answer is nothing, then who am I to tell you otherwise—go for it! But if it makes you think about what you’re compromising, understand that “almost perfect isn’t always good enough.
What do you think? Would you have taken Steve up on his offer?
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For more on believing in yourself and doing what’s right for you, read this piece on confidence by Sean Ogle. Image by: Lapse of the Shutter